Joke Time – Walmart

Joke Time - Walmart
Joke Time - Walmart

One day, in line at the cafeteria, James says to Dennis behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Dennis replies.

“There’s a diagnostic computer down at Walmart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer’ll tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So James deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Walmart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.”

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, James began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and son, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. James hurries back to Walmart, eager to check the results.

He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2. Your dog has ringworm. Get him to a vet.

3. Your son has a cocaine habit. Get him into rehab…

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don’t stop jacking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Walmart.


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